


Hold Me Close and Hold Me Fast.

by OnceUponGreys



Category: Grey's Anatomy, Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Roller Coaster, Grey's Anatomy References, Inspired by Once Upon a Time (TV), Parents Captain Hook | Killian Jones & Emma Swan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-02-22 20:24:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13174545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnceUponGreys/pseuds/OnceUponGreys
Summary: After finding out that they are expecting a baby, Killian and Emma decide to move somewhere safer, where their child can grow up in peace - Seattle. Good thing they live near Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, because Emma's about to give birth.When something goes wrong, Killian and Emma's relationship is greatly tested.A Once Upon A Time based fanfiction. I do not own any of the OUAT characters.Title based on "La Vie En Rose".Grey's Anatomy & Once Upon A Time Crossover





	1. Always By Your Side.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello guys. Most of you are probably coming from my instagram (@OnceUponGreys) And to those of you who are not, welcome to my page and be sure to check out the aforementioned instagram. These chapters are probably going to be short so it will be easier for me to update. and other then that.. enjoy! MIght get a bit graphic but there will be warnings before each chapter. Also i apologize in advance if there are spelling/grammatical errors, for my computer sometimes lets my errors slip ;)

The morning started off as any other, with Killian by her side and her big, round belly taking up almost a third of their bed.

 

 Emma shifted gently, not wanting Killian to awake from her movements. She subtly lifted his arm from around her waist and headed to their shared bathroom. it was cleaner than ever thanks to Killian. He was convinced that everything had to be in tip-top shape for the arrival of the baby. 

 

Emma rested her hand upon her back and inhaled sharply. She felt a pain as if someone was _stabbing_ her with a dagger. There it was again  -the pain- and now it had somehow gotten worse. The third round came and that was when Emma finally realized what was happening.

 

 She wobbled over to the bed, and sure enough it was wet. Emma was in labour. She slowly lowered herself onto the floor, but accidentally knocked over a vase. Killian stirred in his sleep and felt around for his wife. When he felt nothing but the cold, wet mattress, he opened his eyes and saw Emma sitting on the floor.

 

 “Love, are you alright” he managed to mumble. His eyelids were heavy but he was determined to make sure Emma was okay.

 

 “Killian.” She stopped him before he answered and spoke again. _“Killian, I need you to listen to me carefully.”_

 

 She had experienced labour once before with Henry and even if that was more than a decade ago, she knew what was to come next. Another round of pain came and she groaned. “Killian?” She said his name once more in hopes of him getting up and helping her. “Mmm?” was his only reply.

 

 “Killian. I’m in labor.” Now he was listening. He opening his eyes and gasped. “Oh gods Emma, I am so sorry darling." He rushed out of the bed and to her side. She was sweating now, barely caring what she looked like. “We need to go.” was all she could muster before she cried out in pain.

 

 Killian looked sad, as if he couldn’t do anything to help her. “Yes. yes, okay. We’re having a baby. Hold on love.” He grabbed her arms and helped her stand up. They somehow managed to get down the stairs and into her bright yellow bug within the next fifteen minutes. 

 

Killian helped her into the car and started driving. Emma had taught him how to connect his phone to the car and now he was talking to David whilst Emma was somewhat screaming in the back. 

 

One of the many perks of living in Seattle is that they had access to many hospitals. They hadn’t yet decided where they were going to welcome their beautiful bundle of joy into the world yet so Killian had found the nearest one and put it on the GPS.”Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital” the devil device read. 

 

The call with her parents had ended and now the only sound in the car was Emma panting and Killian saying things like “Everything's going to be okay.” 

 

Slowly but surely, the hospital was getting closer and Killian thanked the gods above that his wife wouldn’t have to give birth in the back of a car. He got out of the car and was met by a red head in a trauma gown.

 

 “Hello sir. I’m doctor Kepner. could you please keep this area clear for emergencies only?” She walked away but Killian grabbed her  wrist and practically yelled in her face. “DO YOU REALLY THINK I WOULD BE HERE IF I DIDIN’T HAVE AN EMERGENCY? DO YOU THINK I COME TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM FOR FUN?” 

 

She looked dumbfounded for a moment. Then she spotted Emma. 

 

Poor Emma. _Wilting_ in the back seat of a car that was older than Henry.

 

 “Oh god! I’m so sorry sir.” Then she turned away and yelled at some people who Killian assumed were nurses. “GET ME A STRETCHER” was all he heard before a pile of people came running his way.

 

 He opened the door for Emma and then at least four nurses were helping her onto the bed on wheels that they called a “stretcher”. 

 

They pushed her into the ER and settled her into one of the spots. A few doctors came their way and started talking about a bunch of medical jargon which Killian hardly listened to. 

 

“The baby is coming.” kept replaying in his mind. He was going to be a father. How great was that going to be? He felt something on his hand which finally broke him out of his daze. 

 

It was Emma. His Emma. Beautiful and strong. and giving him the greatest gift he could ever receive.

 

_  A family. _


	2. Two.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma is still in labor, Killian has not left her side and they are both in shock when the doctors reveal something life altering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here it is! Again this chapter is around 700-800 words long because it makes it easier for me to update! I think i will post weekly on Thursdays. Decided to get this done alot earlier than promised as a thank you for all the love :) Happy new year! Enjoy.

Emma’s contractions started about an hour ago so they are expecting their child any minute now. The doctors had left them somewhere around 10 minutes ago. Emma screamed harder than she had all morning, and that is when Killian yelled for someone to come and help his wife.

Three doctors came over. Killian scanned their nametags for future reference. 

The red head was replaced with a blonde. Not short. Not tall. She had a fair complexion and Killian felt some sympathy when he caught a glimpse of her prosthetic leg. “Dr. Robbins”, her tag read.

The other woman had dirty blonde hair and had rushed to Emma’s side almost immediately after she heard Killian’s scream. She was standing by Emma, offering her various things like ice chips and asking her if she wanted drugs. This time the tag read “Dr. Grey”.

 

The third doctor was male. which felt a bit uncomfortable to Killian considering this man would probably help Emma give birth.  
No.  
He can’t be having these thoughts because today is when Emma and him would be united in the final way possible.

A child. A child that would be the perfect combination of both him, and Emma. 

Killian glanced at him once again. He was a doctor and it was his job to help tons of people daily. He decided he would be nice to this "Dr. Karev”. 

Emma looked absolutely wrecked. She was sweating and panting and looked like all she wanted to do was sleep.

Things were far along so the doctors made an executive decision to move Emma and Killian to their own room. 

Dr. Grey left after she explained that she is a general surgeon and they wouldn’t need her for the birth. 

This was like music to Killian’s ears because the fewer doctors there were, the less of a chance of something being wrong with his family. He wanted nothing more than for Emma and their child to be safe.

Killian hasn’t left Emma’s side and isn’t planning on it anytime soon. She’s clutching his hand so tight that her knuckles are white but he doesn’t say anything because as long as he can comfort her, he doesn’t care what happens to him. 

Killian sits next to Emma in the gurney, supporting her back and wiping her forehead every so often. She leans into his embrace and all he can do is encourage her. Her eyes start to water and she whispers something distinctively into his chest. “I’m scared.” Killian’s heart broke a little at his wife’s small sentence. 

“I know love, I know. But just know this. I will always protect you. No matter what I will always protect our family. Don’t be afraid, because I’m right here. I’ll always be right here.” He said it with confidence as if he was making sure that she believed him. He meant it, of course he did. And he needed her to know that. “I love you Emma. I love you with all of my heart.” He wiped her tears as she nodded and he chose this moment to unceremoniously kiss her.

He could tell that she was having another contraction, but this time she tried to control her breathing and minimize the pain. 

Dr. Robbins lets them know that she is going to check how dilated Emma is. When she gives the okay to push, Emma does so without complaint and tries her hardest not to puncture the eardrums or everybody else in the room. 

Killian is still holding her, whispering praises and encouragements in her ear. 

“That’s it! Good job, Emma! I see the head. Just a few more until baby number two.” Doctor Robbins said casually. 

Emma looked up at Killian. It was Killian who spoke this time.

“Baby number two?! What the bloody hell are you talking about?”

Doctor Karev looked confused, and now it was his turn to speak. “You’re having twins.” 

Killian’s eyes became as big as saucers. “TWINS?? What do you means twins? How did they miss a whole other baby on the ultrasound?”  
Doctor Robbins now spoke softly but surely. “I’m not quite sure, sir.”

“Killian. Please call me Killian.”

“Okay, Killian. Although this rarely happens, it does happen. Are you thinking about giving up the second baby?”

“Of course not!” Emma and Killian spoke in sync.

“Okay well then all you can do now is prepare yourselves for 2 babies.”

Emma clung to Killian for dear life and pushed harder than he ever thought possible.

Two babies. As if he was ready for one. Now he was getting two. What a day it had been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone asked for a plot twist, so here it is haha. Hope you guys enjoyed :) Next chapter should be up by a max of 13/1/2018. Let me know your thoughts on the chapter by commenting or messaging me on instagram! (@OnceUponGreys)


	3. Lassie.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gender & Names of twins are revealed. Killian and Emma finally meet their twins after a long wait, and Emma unleashes unsturdy information to Killian. 
> 
> Basically lots of fluff before the angst. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO EVERYBODY!1!!!1!!!!1 WELCOME TO CHAPTER 3! This chapter is a bit on the lengthy side, and i think instead of 700 words i will now be moving on to 1000+ words PER chapter. Leave comments on how you are liking the story so far, and if you don't like it, let me know how i can improve :) ALSO, IN MY UNIVERSE SOME CHARACTERS ARE STILL ALIVE (ROBIN, DEREK, ETC)

Emma pushed and pushed. She let out one last scream before Doctor Robbins pulled out a baby and lifted him gently, “It’s a boy.” Killian’s expression went soft and Emma knew in that moment that he was going to be a spectacular father.

A perfect baby boy was placed in Killian’s arms. He had fluffy blonde hair, and Killian’s ocean blue eyes.  
“Hey there.” He spoke in a gentle voice. “I’ve been waiting a long time to meet you. I love you little lad, and I will always be here for you.” Emma’s heart melted but then she was hit with another contraction. Killian was immediately at her side with their precious baby boy. 

“Okay love, I know that this isn’t what we planned but you have one more to go. And then we will have a lifetime of happiness.” He smiled at her and Doctor Karev offered his hand to Emma. Killian mouthed a “Thank you” and he got a smile in return. 

If Doctor Karev was feeling pain because of Emma’s constant squeezing, he masked it pretty well and showed no emotion whatsoever. All he did was smile and encourage her.

There was a scream, then one last groan. And now the only sound that filled the air was the sound of a baby crying. Killian looked up and this time, his eyes met with those of a chestnut-haired, green-eyed baby girl.

Killian slowly put their little boy in his wife’s arms and headed for their other child. He brought her over within a matter of seconds, and then he was sitting next to Emma. One baby in her arms, and the other in his.  
It was as if they were each holding their mini-me, despite the gender reverse. Killian then said something along the same lines as he did to their son. “Hello little lass.” The little girl smiled and wrapped her small fist around his thumb Killian chuckled. He had tears welling up in his eyes but he continued nonetheless. “I love you so much, lassie. And you can always count on me to help you.” Emma smiled and turned her attention to the baby in her arms. 

Emma could tell he would be a calm and happy baby. Killian wrapped his prosthetic around Emma, and carefully embraced his family. They were finally a family. Nothing would ever tear him apart from Emma, or his children. Even if they had only been alive a matter of minutes, he already felt a deep connection to each one of them.

“Hope I’m not interrupting anything, but we should get your babies down to the NICU and get them cleaned up and stuff.” Doctor Karev smiled and called some interns into the room. 

“Please make sure nothing happens to my babes.” Killian looked both doctors dead in the eyes and Emma struggled to stifle a laugh. The babies cooed and smiled.

Doctor Robbins shooed the interns away before she gently placed the babies in an incubator. She then said one simple sentence that reassured Killian. “I will take them up myself.”

She rolled the babies out and took Doctor Karev with her. Killian took advantage of the privacy and kissed Emma. There was a cute little smile that was tugging at her lips.

“So, how do you reckon we tell Dave and Snow that we are now the proud parents of fraternal twins?” He grinned down at her.

“I haven’t even thought of that yet.” She laughed.

“Thank you.” He said with certainty.

“For what?” 

“For giving me everything I’ve always wanted. A beautiful wife, with whom I can raise children with.”

She hugged him and snuggled into his chest. He held her loosely, not wanting to hurt her after everything she had just gone through. He pulled out his phone and dialled.

__________________________________________________

In the end, Emma and Killian decided that they wouldn’t tell their loved ones over the phone, but let them come and see the miracle for themselves.

Snow and Charming arrived about an hour later with Henry, Roland, Regina, and Robin in tow. 

Emma had fallen asleep in Killian’s arms and he was tracing soothing circles on her back. He bent down and whispered in to her ear, “They’re here, love.” 

Killian lifted himself off the bed and walked towards the incubator that contained their two precious little miracles. 

They all went straight to Emma first, as to make sure she was all right. She reassured them as Killian brought the two newest members of their family over.

The first to notice was Henry, of course.

“What? Is this a joke? Why are you holding two babies?” Henry’s voice slurred with confusion.

The rest of the family looked over with shock in their eyes as Killian handed Emma their baby girl. 

Emma cleared her throat. “We would like to introduce you to Alexandra Margaret Jones”- “and” Killian continued for her. “Liam Henry Jones.” Killian beamed with pride.

Mouths gaped wide open, Henry walked over to his mother. 

“You named your son after me?” 

“Of course I did.” She was delighted in his reaction and hugged him fiercely. “Henry, I want you to know that even if we have twenty kids, you will never be replaced.” Emma whispered into his ear.

He nodded. “Can I hold him?” 

“Yes, you can.”

“Two questions.” Snow arched her brow and proceeded.

“H-h-how am—where-when-who-what?” Killian merely chuckled and answered easily.  
“It seems that they missed one on the ultrasound.”

“Wait. They were both in there the whole time?” David was still confused.

“Yep, we just didn’t know it.” Emma responded coolly. 

Henry and Roland were now sitting the corner of the room holding and entertaining Liam.

“Second question. Y-you named her after me?” Snow said sheepishly.

“Mom, I love you so much. And this is just a small thank you for everything you guys have done for me.” Emma gestured for Snow to come over and she hugged her.

This time it was David who asked if he could hold the baby.

“She’s your granddaughter after all.” Emma grinned.

Killian gently placed Alexandra into David’s waiting arms and returned next to Emma. Robin walked over towards Killian and clapped his back. 

“Congratulations, mate.” Robin smiled at the both of them and then Regina came over to Emma.

“Congratulations Emma.” Her voice was sincere and Emma simply said a thank you in response.

“—And you too, Captain Guy liner.” She smirked and headed to hug him. Robin switched places with Regina, and kissed Emma’s hand. 

Things were calm for the night. Congratulations were repeated multiple times and mostly everyone just admired Alexandra and Liam. 

Doctor Karev and Doctor Robbins visited once or twice during the evening, just making sure Emma and the babies were okay. Although the doctors constantly reassured Killian that his family was fine, they decided to keep Emma and the babies in the hospital for the next couple of days just to make sure that nothing was wrong.

Everybody eventually left. Emma needed to tell Killian something, and she felt like this would be the right time. She proceeded with caution and uncertainty. 

“I want to go back.” 

Killian turned from where he was standing at the window and faced her. “Back where, love?”

“To Storybrooke.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *evil laugh* WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT TIME?? STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT-> UPDATE DUE BY NEXT THURSDAY AND AS ALWAYS FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME VIA INSTAGRAM (@OnceUponGreys) have a great day everybody! :)


	4. Sake Of My Sanity.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killian and Emma discuss moving back to Storybrooke, causing a fight in which Killian lashes out.
> 
> When Killian has come to his senses, Emma is not in ideal shape to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter has around 1,100 words and i would like to apologize for not updating yesterday, i had to get a lot of stuff done. This chapter is the beginning of the angst.

“Wait, what?” His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to understand what exactly his wife was requesting.

“Storybrooke. I want to move back. There hasn’t been a monster o-or-or a threat there in years, Killian. And I miss my parents, and Henry and hell, even Regina sometimes.” 

“Love, you wanted to move to Seattle to give our children a fresh start. Now you’re saying you want to go back?” He was pacing the room, obviously thinking about all the expenses it would take to uproot their lives again. 

When Emma told him she wanted to leave Storybrooke, he did it because he wanted to make her happy. Now she wanted them to go back?

“I know and I’m sorry. But I really think that this is the right choice. Back in Storybrooke, I had magic. Now that I’ve seen our children, I want to be able to protect them in every way possible. Magic is one of those ways.” 

“Emma, you’re hormonal. You just had two babies. I don’t think you’re thinking clearly.”

“Killian, this is the first time in months that I’m thinking clearly. I want our old house, the one we picked together in Camelot. That’s our home. I have a feeling. We belong in Storybrooke. Our children belong in Storybrooke.”

That was the last straw. Killian lost his temper.  
“This all sounds a bit familiar. Oh, that’s right! You said almost all the same thing when you were talking about moving here! Emma, I cannot keep going back and forth because of a feeling.”

She stared at him with mock disbelief and shock.

He couldn’t stand there and watch the way she was looking at him so he spewed out; “There’s a bar across the street. I’m going to go get a drink.” He threw on his coat and left almost instantly but not before Emma yelled,  
“KILLIAN, COME BACK, YOU CAN’T JUST LEAVE.”

But it was for naught because he didn’t hear her. 

______________________________________________

He got to the bar and sat there. 

“Water, please.”

He didn’t drink anything containing alcohol because back when Emma told him they were going to have a baby, he decided he was going to cut down on the rum and alcohol in general. He would not allow himself to slip back into that nasty habit. He will not drown his worries in alcohol. Not when he had two children depending on him to be a good father.

 

For the sake of his sanity he decided to try to work things out with Emma. He paid for his drink and practically ran back to Grey Sloan Memorial. He stopped at the hospital gift shop to buy her some roses, and some chocolate, hoping it would soften her reaction to his unnecessary blow up earlier. He hated the way that they left things. Killian knew that he had a temper, and Emma knew it too. He just hoped that she would forgive him for being such an arse.

Killian hopped onto the elevator with Doctor Robbins, who coincidently was going to check on Emma. They walked into Emma’s room together, and Killian’s jaw dropped.

There were doctors and nurses all huddled around Emma doing various things.

He dropped the flowers and the chocolate onto the floor abruptly and ran over to the bed. He saw a glimpse of Emma in the midst of everything. She had an IV in her arm, a mask on and she was having a seizure. 

Doctor Grey was there again but it was Doctor Karev who was barking orders at the nurses.

“PUSH DIAZEPAM NOW!”

Killian felt something warm on his face and he realized he was crying. Emma stopped seizing, but now the monitor was screeching which Killian took as a sign that she’s getting even worse than the current state he walked in on.

“PUSH ONE OF EPI STAT! AND CHARGE THE DEFLIBRILATOR TO 300!”

Suddenly he felt as if he couldn’t breathe, tears still sliding down his hollow cheeks. Doctor Robbins pulled him to a side chair and tried to help him calm down but to no avail.

Robbins shouted out something distinctively but Killian felt his senses fade, and he couldn’t hear or see much of anything anymore. An intern scrambled over and gave her an oxygen mask. She placed it on Killian’s face and held his jaw in her hands, just trying to soothe him and calm his breathing. 

“D-d-do-doctor-“ 

“You’re Killian right?” Once he nodded she went on.  
“Okay Killian, I need you to calm down. She’s going to be all right. My name is Arizona. You’re having a panic attack. The only way to stop it is to calm your breathing naturally.”

He nodded and took a hold of her hand. 

“Where are my babies?” He looked as if he was going to have a heart attack right then and there.  
“It’s all right. They are in the NICU.”

He would’ve asked for more details but a doctor approached them.

“Hello sir, I’m Meredith Grey.”

“Yes, I remember you from earlier.” 

She smiled. “Okay, we don’t know what’s wrong with your wife, but I have a feeling I know what it is, so we’re going to take her up for a scan. We’ll be back soon.”

“Okay.”

Arizona could tell that Killian’s blood pressure was getting higher so she attempted at changing the subject. 

“Hey! You lost your hand, right?”

“Aye, I did.”

“I lost my leg a few years back. Why don’t we share stories?”

“Mine is too long a tale. I feel like I would need 300 years to explain it all. Long story’s short, it was all a crocodile’s fault.” He chuckled.

He hasn’t thought about the bloody crocodile in ages. It seemed funny to him that someone who caused him so much pain, was practically irrelevant in his life now. 

“Wow, A freak crocodile accident? You make my story seem simple.”

Even if he didn’t want Arizona to recall a painful memory, his curiosity bested him. “What happened?”

“It was pretty bad,” She sniffled and her eyes started tearing up. “Umm, it was a plane crash. I lost 2 of my closest friends. One of them happened to be the father of my child. My other friend, his name is Derek, he almost lost his hand and I- um- my leg got a pretty nasty infection so my wife decided to cut it off.”

“Oh. I’m so sorry.”

She laughed away the tears. “It’s okay, there’s no way you could have known.”

Killian was going to say something else but Doctor Grey walked in. Killian stood up so fast he got a head rush. 

“Okay, so remember that feeling I told you about earlier?” Doctor Grey brought up.

“Aye.”

“I have good news and bad news.”

“First off, where is my wife?” He demanded.

“About that. The CT scan only confirmed that she has a-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment what you think the last sentence will be. Feel free to message me via instagram (@OnceUponGreys) if you have anything to suggest or questions. See you guys next thursday!


	5. Beautiful Chaos.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma's condition is finally revealed and Alex asks Killian for love advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Hope you've had a good day so far and again i would like to apologize for uploading on Friday and not Thursday. Happy Birthday to Colin! :)

REVIEW  
_________________________________________________  
“I have good news and bad news.”

“First off, where is my wife?” He demanded.

“About that. The CT scan only confirmed that she has a-  
_____________________________________________________  
END OF REVIEW

“About that. The CT scan only confirmed that she has a frontal lobe tumor.

“W-wa-wait. We came here to have a baby! Now you’re telling me she has cancer?! And in her bloody brain no less?!”

“Yes, she does. I’m so sorry. BUT the good news is that we caught it early enough that we can remove it.”

“Where is Emma?”

“Depending on if you want to proceed with the surgery or not-“

“Of course we want to proceed with the bloody surgery. Bring her back down here, because I will not do something if she’s not on board. AND I want to meet the best brain surgeon you have before we discuss further details.”

“Of course.” She hurried of with a sigh. 

Arizona’s jaw snapped shut, “You can be pretty intimidating.”

“When my wife’s life is on the line I would stop at nothing-“

“I know that! I didn’t doubt you. I’m just telling you that maybe dial it down a notch, because all we want to do here is save lives. And by the way, our neurosurgeon, his name is Derek. The same Derek that was in the crash with me.”

“I see. Thank you for letting me know.”  
_________________________________________________

Arizona left as soon as Emma was being rolled back into her room. Emma was still unconscious. Doctor Grey came in with another doctor, this time a man, which he assumed, was Derek. 

“Good evening, sir. I’m Doctor Shepherd.”

“Killian Jones. Nice to meet you.” He offered him his hand.

“We are pretty lucky that we found your wife’s tumor early. The cancer is what caused her seizure but we still don’t know what caused her heart to stop. I can remove the tumor today, unless you want to keep searching for the cause of her heart stopping first.”

“Well, what’s more important?” 

Derek spoke now, “I would say that because it is a rapid growing butterfly tumor, it takes top priority. Especially because it’s in the frontal lobe, it can start affecting her speech if we don’t do anything soon.”

Killian simply nodded along as he spoke, not feeling the particular need to do anything else. He balled his hands into fists in an attempt to stop them from shaking but it didn’t help. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was scared. Scared that his and Emma’s future was over before it even started.

“There are risks with every surgery but since this tumor is located in this specific part of her brain, those risks are almost doubled.”

“Risks? What kind of risks are we talking about?”

“Some of the risks include death, paralysis, losing function of the brain itself, slurring of speech and more. The consent forms have the full details, we’ll bring them to you as soon as possible.”

“She could die?” A tear rolled down his cheek. 

“Yes there is a possibility that she could die.” 

Killian rubbed his hands over his face and wiped the tear away but there was still evidence of crying because of his red cheeks and swollen eyes. He took a deep breath in order to go on, “Okay. Get me the consent forms. I want you to operate.”

“Okay sir-“

“Please. Just call me Killian.”

“Of course. Doctor Grey will be back in a few minutes with the forms and I’ll go prep for the surgery.” Both of the doctors smiled and then they were off.

________________________________________

They came back in around 20 minutes. Killian asked a few more questions but then he let them go. He held Emma’s hand as they pushed her to the O.R. and walked with them until they said he couldn’t go further. 

He leaned in and said something into her ear, “Swan? Love, I don’t know if you can hear me, but if you can, I love you and I’m so sorry for walking out. I will never leave like that again. We have been through too much for you to die now. So don’t. Don’t die. Please Swan? Because I need you. I can’t bloody live without you, and I need you to help raise our children. So you better stay alive.” He ran his thumb over her knuckles, then raised her hand to his lips and brushed a kiss onto it. 

He started tearing up but he let the doctors go. He walked to the waiting room in a slow manner, keeping his head down and avoiding wandering eyes. He sat in the waiting room for so long, he felt numb. He had updated David and Snow by texting them quite a while ago because if he called, he wasn’t sure he wouldn’t break into a fit of sobs right there in the midst of the hospital.

Doctor Karev found him about an hour in. Killian turned off his phone as common courtesy when he came to sit with him. 

Doctor Karev spoke fast and in a rushed tone, “I’m Alex. Now, normally I wouldn’t do this but I’m sort of desperate.” 

Killian’s eyes were glassy and red but he tried to appear calm and collected. 

“I’m listening.” He said quietly. He gave him a manufactured smile to accompany the empty words.

“Although I’ve only known you and your wife for a matter of days, I can tell that what you guys have is very special. I need advice.”

“Advice about girls?” Killian was certainly grateful for the distraction but wanted to make sure he fully understood the situation. 

Alex confirmed his suspicion and Killian tried to think of the best possible advice he could give him.

“No relationship is perfect and there will be conflict. What matters is the desire to solve the problem. Always fight the problem, not the other person. If you keep this in mind when arguing, you’ll be able to actually resolve the issue than be mad at each other. Don’t be afraid to open up and be vulnerable. Vulnerability can bring you closer together and strengthen the two of you.”

“Wow, thanks man. Anything else?” Alex seemed genuinely thankful and Killian was content with what he had said.

Before Alex left, Killian stopped him and told him and told him one more thing; “You know you’re with the right person when they force you to be the best version of yourself.”

And he truly meant it. Emma made him a better man. Oh, gods he loved her so bloody much and now she might die before he gets to apologize for his stupid blow up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Feel free to contact me via instagram (@OnceUponGreys) if you need anything!


	6. Faith & Remorse.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snow and Charming come to the hospital. Killian wants nothing more than for Emma to be okay. Results of Emma's surgery are revealed. Is Emma going to be okay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO EVERYBODY!! I'M EXTREMELY SORRY FOR NOT UPLOADING LAST WEEK. As an apology, i've made this chapter longer than usual.
> 
> QUICK HEADS UP:  
> 1// POV means "Point of view"  
> 2// This chapter moves pretty quickly so make sure you pay attention.  
> 3// When words are slanted, it's someone's thoughts/what's happening in their head.

The night dragged on for ages. Killian was restless as expected, and didn’t get a single minute of shut-eye. How could he? The love of his life was lying open and exposed on an operating table not far from here, and he couldn’t do anything to help her or even comfort her.

For all he knew, Emma hated him; and he couldn’t blame her. When he proposed, he had promised that he would always be by her side. He can’t leave like that whenever they argue, especially not when she was wounded in a hospital bed literally hours after giving birth to his children.

_God I’m such an idiot._

**3:37 AM – Almost 4 hours since they took Emma in.**

_Emma’s parents are coming. If they find out that I left Emma in the middle of the night to go to a bloody bar, David will physically strangle me._

A shadow lurked in the depths of the hallway that Killian had been staring. Someone was hiding. Killian stalked over, and the figure to scram. He thought quickly to what he should do. “OI!” The figure stopped dead in their tracks.

Killian gave his best glare and continued,  
“You know something.”

Killian pointed a finger at him. The shorter man visibly gulped and opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

“Do you or do you not know something about my wife?” He practically shouted in the narrow hall. A passing nurse glanced over, but shuffled away after Killian’s stormy eyes met her own.

“Uh.. um..ye-“

“Well, what is it then?!”

“She’s doing fine! Um.. she should be out in a few more hours.”

Killian turned around and walked back to his seat.

**7:50 AM – Almost 8 hours since they took Emma in.**

Arizona had come to sit with him for a few minutes but other than that, the wait was pretty lonely. She would’ve stayed if not for a 911 page, which he completely understood. Saving a life is more important than sitting with a man full of guilt.

Other than that little imp that had updated him earlier, no doctor hasn’t disturbed Killian. He knew why. At least half the hospital heard him yelling at the intern, and no one wanted to face the angry husband’s wrath. Killian wasn’t angry though. He was scared. Emma is everything to him.

_Swan. I know that you face an uncertain future, but there is one thing I want you to be certain of. I will always, always be by your side._

The words ran through his head over and over and every time they did, he felt even more shame than before.

 

A steady voice pulled him out of his thoughts. It was Snow.  
“Killian? What’s the news?”

“They haven’t told me anything since four in the morning. Where’s David?”

“He’s talking to the nurse, trying to get more information about Emma.”

He looked over, and sure enough the prince was talking to the lady at the desk. Killian could tell that David was scared too; he was hiding it pretty well though.

“I left her.”

Snow’s head turned to face Killian’s, after sitting next to him. “What are you talking about?” She raised an eyebrow.

"W-we had a fight. We had a fight before she coded and I stormed out. My heart is heavy w-with guilt because maybe if I hadn’t left her alone last night, maybe I could have done something, maybe I could have stopped her from-"

Snow put an end to his rambling right then. “No, you couldn't have. The doctors already told you that no one could have prevented this. She knows you love her. You just need to have faith that your love is powerful enough to survive this. There’s nothing else you can do.”

“Snow, if the doctors don’t save her and I don’t get the chance to apologize, I will never be able to forgive myself.”

“I know. She’ll be okay. She’s strong.” Snow wiped a single tear and took a deep breath.

“Can you honestly tell me that you think she will come out the other side safely?”

“No. I can’t. It’s not guaranteed, but I have hope.”

_Believing in even the possibility of a happy ending is a very powerful thing._

He had heard those words at least a thousand times. When he overheard Emma read to the babies, for instance. Or when he occasionally heard Snow reciting words from the infamous storybook to Neal.

_I have hope. She can do this._

**9:01 AM – Nine hours after they took Emma in.**

Ever since Snow and Charming arrived, they sat next to him, with David occasionally going to ask if they have any news on Emma.

There was distant noise, the shuffling of the feet of a distressed nurse, he had assumed. That changed when he heard the noise slowly coming closer. He looked up, and he saw Dr. Shepherd. He got up and met him half way, anxiously tapping his left foot over and over.

“I-Is she okay?” He couldn’t hide the tremble in his voice, which only increased as soon as David and Snow came and stood beside him. Snow had put her hand close to Killian’s, which he took as a sign of encouragement. David crossed his arms over his chest and listened closely.

“We just completed the surgery, and it was successful.” Killian let go of the breath that he didn’t realize he was holding.

“Oh thank god.” David had worked his way over to snow and held her tight in his arms to show her some support.

“She’s being taken back to her room right now, chances are she’ll be awake in a few hours.”

Killian showed his gratitude before quickly started making his way to Emma’s room.

**11:09 AM – 2 hours after Emma’s surgery.**

“Killian, would you please eat something?” Snow had been nagging him for the past hour.

“Not hungry.” Both his hand and his prosthetic were on Emma’s hands. He hadn’t eaten since last night, and Snow was getting worried.

Usually, Emma was pretty talkative. He never really appreciated it until now. Snow left the room to update the rest of the family about Emma.

**2:48 PM – Almost 6 hours after Emma’s surgery.**  
**Killian’s POV**

Snow and David left around one. They promised to be back by four. I was kind of grateful for the silence.  
I’ve been sitting next to Emma since they brought her back to her room. My head is _pounding_ , probably because I hadn’t slept in a day. Or maybe it was because I hadn’t eaten anything since yesterday.

I moved my chair closer to Emma’s.

“Hi, love.” I took a deep breath and went on.  
“I’m so sorry for leaving. And I miss you. I miss you so much. Please wake up.”

I rested my head against the corner of the bed.

_Just one minute, and then you are getting up. You can’t fall asleep now. What if she wakes up?_

 

I closed my eyes. I wanted to get up after a minute, I really did. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I fell asleep.

**4:02 PM – 7 hours after Emma’s surgery.**  
**Snow’s POV**

David and I got back to the hospital a few minutes ago. I figured that Killian would like it if we brought him some food that wasn’t gross like the hospital’s.

I walked in to Emma’s room to try and get Killian to eat something, but as soon as I stepped inside, I realized that he was sleeping. I spotted a blanket in the corner of the room and went to grab it. I covered him the best I could, considering the position he was sleeping in.

**10:32 PM – 13 hours after Emma’s surgery.**

Killian lifted his head and slowly rubbed his eyes.

_How long was I asleep for?_

He glanced at the clock.

_10:33! You said one minute Killian! Not seven hours!_

He looked over to Emma. She looked the same as she did seven hours ago. Wires all over the place, and a tube stuffed down her throat. He looked around the room, it was empty, as he had expected. His stomach growled.

Snow walked in, as if on cue with a bowl of chicken soup.

“Good, you’re up!” She set the piping hot soup on the table near the bed with a spoon, and some crackers.

He gave her a sceptical look.

“Don’t give me that look. I don’t care if you’re not hungry. Eat it.”

He moved towards the table and opened the crackers.

“What time did you get here?” He pushed his ruffled hair back.

“Four-ish”

“Why didn’t you wake me?”  
“Just because you’re worried about Emma, it doesn’t mean your body doesn’t need sleep. I figured you could use the rest.”

“Thank you.”

She smiled and checked her phone.

**11:11 PM – 14 hours since Emma’s surgery.**

_I don’t usually believe in stuff like making wishes at 11:11, but I was desperate. I wish that Emma wakes up._

Snow went home to check on Henry and Neal, both of which were staying with Regina.

David was sitting in the corner of the room.

“David?”

“Yes, Killian?”

“What if she doesn’t wake up? What if I never get to apologize for how I reacted?”

David took a deep breath but said nothing. The room was quiet save for the low humming of the machines attached to Emma.

Suddenly there was a low coughing noise, coming from no other than Emma herself. Killian stood, and rushed to Emma’s side. The doctors had told him what to expect. David was still unaware of what was happening.

“DR. SHEPHERD! GET IN HERE.”

“Killian, what’s going on?”

“David. Go get the bloody doctor right now!”

“What? Why?”

Killian rubbed his thumb over Emma’s forehead.

_Maybe those bloody wishes do work after all._

“She’s choking. She’s fighting the tube. _She’s waking up._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed :) Feel free to ask any questions to @OnceUponGreys on instagram.


	7. Explanations.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More than twenty hours after Emma crashes, she finally wakes up. Feelings are dealt with. Has this taken a strain on their relationship? Only time will tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY IT TOOK LIKE 76272892 YEARS FOR THIS CHAPTER. I HONESTLY DONT KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH MEEEEEE. HOPE YOU ENJOYYYYYY

**2:48 PM – Almost 6 hours after Emma’s surgery.**

**Emma’s POV**

_I hear something. It’s distant and I can’t really make out what the person is saying._

_I focus on listening to what they are saying and after twenty-three seconds I manage to catch the last bit of what they are - Killian is- I realize it’s Killian._

_He’s saying he misses me. He’s asking me to wake up._

_I want to tell him that I can hear him. I can’t. All I want is nothing more than to say two words to him. I’m trying._

**7:22 – Emma’s POV**

_I haven’t heard noise in a while. I assume my parents went home. I don’t know where Killian is. He might be sleeping, or he got tired and left._

 

**11:12 PM – 14 hours after Emma’s surgery.**

**Emma’s POV**

****

_I feel something. In my throat. I try to push it out with my tongue but then I end up coughing and gagging. I hear Killian come over and say something. Something along the lines of ‘choking, fighting, tube’_

**11:12 PM – General POV**

 

“She’s choking. She’s fighting the tube. _She’s waking up.”_

David stared in awe at him before rushing into the hallway and shouting.

 

_She’s waking up._

Shepherd finally rushes into the room. Killian barely hears him come in; he’s only focused on Emma.

 

She’s still coughing, less than before but still coughing and gagging on the tube.

 

Slowly, Shepherd removes the tube from her mouth. Her eyes open slowly and then all at once. It’s like a light has been turned on. The room is brighter with her energy here. She coughs lightly before gently sitting up so she can drink the water offered to her by David.

 

Shepherd does some tests and then smiles before he tells them that Emma will fully recover with hopefully no mental deficits.

 

David walks Derek out of the room, thanking him for saving Emma along the way.

 

**Change of perspective (General to Killian)**

We were left alone for what seemed like the first time in months, although I remember the last time we were alone. The car ride that started it all. I remember quite vividly the screams coming from Emma in the back of the car. I remember talking to David on the phone. It feels like so long ago, but in reality it couldn’t have been more than a week.

 

I don’t know where we stand. I don’t know if she hates me.

 

I awkwardly shuffle my feet over to her bed and scratch behind my ear in nervous habit.

 

“Emma?”

 

David announces that he’s leaving before I get to say anything else but I’m glad that he interrupts because the tension in this room is so thick, I couldn’t cut it with my bloody cutlass.

 

I say her name again. She’s glaring daggers at me and I can’t help but feel like a sodding moron.

 

_What the fuck is wrong with you?_

I’m by her side, about to take her into my arms when she flinches away and shakes me off. I can’t help but feel a lump of regret pressing against me like a weight.

 

_What have you done?_

I try again and this time, not only does she shake me off, but also she cries out.

 

“Nurse! Get him out of here. I don’t want to see him.” She lies down on the bed again and turns her body away from me.

 

The nurse is gesturing me out now, I go with her and I try to stop myself from doing what I want to, try to stop myself from making a scene, but it doesn’t work. I march right back into the room and say what’s been on mind since they took her away all those hours ago.

 

She yells at the nurse again and the nurse tries to get me to leave but I stand my ground.

 

“Emma!”

 

When she doesn’t respond I yell again.

 

“Emma, stop this right this instant.”

 

The nurse looked uncomfortable as ever, and I couldn’t blame her, she was after all witnessing what may have been the most awkward waking of a patient in history.

 

“Sir, you need to leave.”

 

I ignored the nurse and face Emma once again.

 

“Emma. Listen to me.”

 

I pushed the nurses hands off my arm.

 

“Emma, this is what you do. I was a jerk and I walked out and I’m sorry, but please don’t put your walls up. I love you and your walls but it took me so long to tear them down. Even with your walls up I see you for who you truly are a beautiful, kind, loving and strong woman. I see the light shining through the cracks. You don’t need your walls with me, remember? Please, love.”

 

She turns and looks at me before signaling to the nurse that she could leave. The nurse leaves immediately, obviously sensing that she was beginning to intrude on a private moment.

 

“I’m not letting you go to bed sad. I love you. I’m not going anywhere. We will work this out.”

 

Emma’s voice is small, which I assume is because she isn’t ready to forgive me _yet_.

 

“I don’t fully remember what happened.”

 

_That wasn’t what I was expecting._

 

She’s looking at me now, her eyes filled with sadness and a hint of despair.

 

“Oh, Emma.”

 

I walk over to her as fast as I can and hold her tightly in my arms before she can change her mind.

 

I lie down against the bed with her in my arms and my face in her hair.

 

“What do you remember from that night?”

 

A part of me didn’t want to know, a part of me didn’t want to remind her of how I overreacted. _How I walked away._

 

“I remember mom and dad and Regina and everyone else coming to visit us, and-“

 

“You.”

 

She turned her face to look at me.

 

“What?”

 

I nestled her close and kissed behind her ear before I explained.

 

“They came to visit _you_. Not us. _You_ are incredible, Emma. You never seize to amaze me. I love you, darling.”

 

She twists her body, careful to avoid all of the wires and tubes and then pecks my lips gently. A tear escapes her eye.

 

“I’m sor-“

 

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence. You have nothing to be sorry for, love.”

 

I wiped her face with my thumb and kissed her again. She inhales and exhales deeply before she continues.

 

“I don’t remember much. Mostly bits and pieces. How long has it been since that night?”

 

“Almost two days.” I answer right away.

 

She gasps and I only tighten my grip on her.

 

We sit in comfortable silence until she asks another question. It’s hard to recall these painful memories. But I do it for her. I’d do anything for her.

 

“How long was I in surgery?”

 

“Nine hours. And it took you fourteen hours after that to wake up. I couldn’t sleep. But I was in the waiting room the whole time. I want you to know that I never left.”

 

“So I take it your night wasn’t any good?” She gently bites her lip and snuggles closer to my chest.

 

“Any night I spend without you in my arms is horrible”

I tell her.

 

She stares at me with admiration.

 

“I vaguely remember us fighting. I remember you saying you were going somewhere across the street.”

 

“A bar.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Her face doesn’t seem surprised but I know that there’s still one question she wants to ask me.

 

_‘Did you get drunk?’_

 

“I didn’t drink anything. Just water.”

 

She looks lovingly at me. I can tell that she’s proud, and I’m glad I can do that much for her.

 

“I’m going to turn around now, because the last thing I remember…I don’t think I can say it to your face.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Okay.”

 

She shifts herself awkwardly once again, and when she’s fully turned I wrap my arm around her waist and put my nose in her gorgeous blonde locks.

 

“I remember only bits and pieces of the fight. But I remember what happened after you left really clearly.”

 

She stutters and all I want in that moment is to take her home. This place has made her afraid. And I don’t ever want her to be afraid.

 

“I got this pain. In my head. And then I couldn’t feel my arms, or my legs. I couldn’t control my impulses. It felt bad. Really bad.”

 

 

Her voice breaks and she’s crying but I want her to go on. I know what she’s describing. _The seizure._

 

“I screamed your name. At least like four times. I kept yelling for you. I thought you would help me, I thought you would come back-”

 

“But I didn’t” I finish for her.

 

“But you didn’t.”

 

She turns her head to face me and offers me a weak, watery smile. I kiss her lips, feeling the smooth surface upon my own.

 

“I am so sorry. You know that right? How can I ever make it up to you?”

 

“You can start by just holding me.”

 

And so I do. I press her against my heart so that she knows I’m always by her side.

 

I hold her for moments.

Minutes.

Hours.

 

Eventually I realize that we stayed like that the entire night. She falls asleep in my arms, and I join her shortly after.

 

I don’t regret being a pirate. I don’t regret killing all those people. I don’t regret living in never land for hundreds of years. Because all of those things helped shaped me into the person I had to become in order for Emma to choose me. No matter what, all of my mistakes had led him here.

 

To Emma.

To the love of my life.

To my _soul mate_.

_{When you press_

_Me to your heart,_

_I’m in a world apart,_

_A world where_

_Roses bloom}_

  _______________________________________________________________________

 

**Change of perspective (Killian to Emma)**

When I wake up, his arm is still wrapped snugly at my waist. He’s given me the whole blanket, and he’s only taking up a third of the bed.

 

I lie there, content with the low hum of the machines and his soft snoring engulfing the silence.

 

Killian stirs in his sleep, and a few minutes later he wakes up. His hair is floppy and everywhere, and his ocean eyes are cloudy with sleep.

 

He rises from the bed and shrugs off his leather jacket, keeping him in his t-shirt. He finally notices me staring at him, so he smirks at me and then comes over to my side. He kisses me.

 

“Morning, love.” He smiles and rubs my temple slowly. I sigh happily as I reply to him a simple ‘hi’.

 

“How was your night? I know I usually hog the blanket and the bed but-”

 

“It was the best night I’ve had in days.”

 

I smile. I lean my arm to reach his neck and start playing with the hair at the nape of his neck nervously.

 

I pause and look up before I ask him.

 

“So..um..when can we go home?”

 

He looks at me with a look I know.

 

_There’s something he isn’t telling me._

**Change of perspective (Emma to Killian)**

She asks me the only question I don’t know how to answer. She thinks that she’s finally free, from the confines of a hospital bed. How am I supposed to tell her that there’s still something wrong with her? With her heart.

“Well..you..I..there..-“

 

She cuts off my rambling.

 

“Just tell me. I can handle it”

 

I muster up enough courage to finally tell her. Just as doctor Shepherd walks in.

 

“Hi, Emma. How are you feeling?”

 

She looks to me awkwardly and it’s then I realize that she doesn’t have a single inkling to who this man is.

 

I clear things up quickly, “Darling, this is your brain surgeon.”

 

“Brain surgeon. Well that explains the missing hair and bandage around my head.”

 

“Nice to meet you too, Emma.” He extends his arm and flashes her a boyish grin.

 

“I’m just here to do some final tests before I give the okay to begin the search on what caused your hea-”

 

My eyes go wide as I realize what he’s about to say. He’s going to tell her that there’s something wrong with her heart.

 

“AHHH! DOCTOR SHEPHERD. MAY I TALK TO YOU IN THE HALLWAY.” I phrase it as a question but it’s much more of a demand.

 

I jump up and pull him to the hallway.

 

“Mr.Jones? What was that about?”

 

“Call me Killian, please.”

 

“Okay _Killian._ What was that about?”

 

“My wife doesn’t know the extent of why we’re still here. I would like to be the one to tell her that she has something else wrong with her.”

 

“Ahh. I’m sorry for interrupting. I’ll come back in an hour or two.”

 

“Thank you Dr. Shepherd.”

 

“If I’m calling you Killian, than please just call me Derek.”

 

“Thank you Derek.”

 

He looks pleased and walks away not a moment later.

 

I walk back into Emma’s room, ready for her eager curiosity and wondering mind.

 

I’m ready for a question, but what I get is, “That was weird.”

 

She stays quiet as I slowly lay back down next to her. When we’re finally in the same position as before, I sigh and get ready to explain.

 

“Where was I?”

 

“You were about to explain what all that mumbling was about.”

 

She makes me smile and I’m grateful for the distraction, but I focus my mind on telling her the truth. It comes out so suddenly, I wasn’t even ready for it.

“That thing you were describing last night? That was a seizure.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Aye.”

 

I gaze into those emerald eyes of hers and go on.

 

“After your seizure, your heart stopped.”

 

I feel the tears gathering at the rim of my eyes.

 

“The surgery you just finished was because you had a brain tumor. That’s what caused the seizure. They still need to find the cause of your heart stopping.”

 

“Wait. I have cancer?”

 

“Had. Had cancer, love. They got it all.”

 

“There’s something wrong with my heart?”

 

"Aye, love."

 

She leans into me and starts crying.

 

Tears stain her cheeks and her body ripples with sobs.

 

“I don’t want to die.” She cries into my shoulder.

 

“You won’t. You may be stubborn, but you won’t, Swan. I won’t let you.”

 

I give her a cocky grin to try and cheer her up.

 

“It’s not funny.”

 

She gives me a small smile and then punches my arm.

 

“Oww! What was that-”

 

She kisses me before I have the chance to finish my sentence.

 

“That was being an ass wipe before I crashed.”

 

“I deserved that. I’m sorry, love”

 

“Yes, you did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to comment and leave kudos! The song lyrics are from "La Vie En Rose" by the way.


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